How to Coach Yourself to Harmlessness

Harmlessness, does that mean lying down and being passive, not causing trouble, or could it be about actively avoiding causing harm at any cost? Are you open to consider the subject of harmlessness in a completely new and different light? Then let us begin the positive habit of being a coach to oneself of harmlessness!

To not cause harm has been bandied about, we have possibly picked up from other people’s beliefs tied in with a particular religion, that to live in this way is a paramount belief to foster. We can take on beliefs, make them our own, make them a habit without reviewing our life and attitudes in it.

Do not stand on an ant, or you become a vegetarian for instance. That is all very well; however is the attitude coming from a fear based reason, say from the head rather than the heart? Or when from a narrow viewpoint, you can be eating vegetables, thanking the food in an unbalanced manner? Your behaviour may become extreme and I believe that harmlessness is frequently used out of context, rather than in an integrated, loving way.

This article is from the point of view of harm towards oneself. How you treat yourself, your daily habits, the general nurturing that you do for other people, whether it be your partner, children or other members of the family or outsiders. Sometimes it is so easy to follow wonderful principles of not causing harm and we do this for others and forget about ourselves.

This could relate to your diet, exercise, hobbies and work. It could be about books that you read, television shows you watch, whether they are scary, funny, uplifting and informative. There are numerous ways of taking care of yourself and I believe that care giving to yourself is a great preventative medicine, as well as things that you take in the form of a healthy diet, vitamins and so on.

What you feed your emotions, mind and spirit are equally as important as to what you feed your body either from food or feed in through your five basic senses.

It is dishonouring yourself to focus on looking outside of you and then to forget that if you are not as well, strong and balanced as you can be to begin with, then over time you will become weaker and succumb to dis-ease. The well known bible saying that ‘charity begins at home’ may be applied firstly to yourself.

When you put others’ needs before your own, especially because of not having enough time, ask yourself is this really what you want? If the answer is ‘no’ you can change this if you choose to. Life is running at such a pace and you can put things off, especially for yourself. You make lists of things to do and things that you want to do, without prioritising. When you do the most urgent, they may not, in fact, be the most important. It is important to make an appointment with yourself to do something that you love, both for your self expression and to not feel dry, that life has become meaningless.

I invite you to spend the next twenty minutes or so to make a list. First sit where you will not be disturbed for half an hour and breathe. Feel yourself relaxing as you breathe and connect with your heart. Next write down a list of the things you have done that have been nice, caring and special for yourself in the last week. You may discover that your list is bare, barren! You had great intentions to spend time doing something for yourself and somehow other things got in the way, it did not happen. Again.

You are your own creator and I urge you to take this opportunity to make a different list. This will be of things that you would like to do. It can be several lists if you wish to break them down for practicality. Such as a daily, weekly or say, a three monthly list of desires and goals. Make it realistic and achievable, starting with something that is comparatively easy, which will set the new, beneficial habit of success towards harmlessness towards yourself on the right track.

Good luck with this exercise, as to succeed with it, you must first recognise that you are important and do need to nurture yourself on every level. And then you have to choose to have the right intention to carry this through into your daily life, to make it a habit. Habits take time to concrete, so be patient with yourself and know that absolutely and positively, YOU ARE WORTH IT!