Decluttering has been part of many people’s intentions over recent years and, quite a mini revolution in many homes. It has been a prominent buzzword and a whole range of businesses have arisen to cater for de-clutterers who embark on their own unique personal journey of letting go of possessions.
Marie Condo wrote Spark Joy, which helped create this enormous clearing out of stuff movement. I love her book, reading it opened my eyes and started me on a long journey to reduce material possessions. These include various hobbies and collectables such as ornaments of horses and elephants. (I am keeping the swans for now). I have accumulated a lot over my 81 years. Many people have referred to me as a hoarder. Does that ring a bell with you too? We can all be hoarders of a variety of objects and not others. Our interests can change, yet we usually accumulate more things, rather than letting go of what has passed to make room for the new.
I prefer the term ‘collector,’ it is kinder, and I feel has a depth of understanding, of emotions or reasons why we like to keep things. There is nothing wrong with having anything, rather it is our motives about possessing, collecting, hoarding, hanging on to things that is paramount.
Spark Joy helped me to value, respect and treasure my possessions, to treat them with appreciation and look after them as well. For example, to thank the clothes as we fold it and put it away, not to squish it into cupboards. To treat our belongings with gratitude and respect. Marie says that things last longer when we do so and treat things as energy, even a low level of intelligence. That is an interesting concept, who knows? Perhaps there is a miniscule of intelligence in everything, as everything is energy resonating at different wavelengths. And think about this, our possessions need our attention and energy, otherwise their energy is weaker. You can even feel it.
Why do we have Clutter?
We become who and what we are in our upbringing and influenced by our parents or caregivers’ behaviour. Added to this has been the outer influences in our lives, radio, television, printed material, and innumerable other things. Now there is Spotify, YouTube, Facebook, Blogs, all sorts of modern age apps and the list grows exponentially.
All these modern conveniences impact on most of us as a general rule. There is less time, less sitting quietly in stillness, more of being busy being busy. Our minds and lives become cluttered as we tend to rush and try to fit more and more into our lives.
Low Self Worth and Wanting a Happy Fix
A major reason we hoard or collect things to excess that is most commonly spoken of is due to our lack of worthiness. Oftener than not, it is out of our radar of awareness, as we struggle to cope the best way we can, in varying amounts and situations. We may not be aware of having a lack of feeling worthy. Many of us have unconscious needs to be fulfilled, as we struggle with feelings of unworthiness. Buying or acquiring something makes us feel better for a short time. We feel a little happier for a moment or longer, as we try to fill ourselves up with things. Then look for the next fix, like a drug addict. Shopping can be an addiction in this day and age.
The temporary fix may be objects or activities, we develop a life and habit to be so busy so as not to feel negative things such as sadness, anxiety, depression or empty. It is a big and complicated subject. The theory and scientific evidence are that there may be some underlying cause which is making us want a full house. It could be an unresolved loss in our life, something so horrible that we have not been able to accept or get over it is occurring.
Isn’t it wonderful that there is greater awareness about all this now? There are many hoarders shows on TV and a favourite of mine is Space Invaders. Peter Walsh is the presenter, with a psychology background who confronts participants as he uncovers usually traumatic experiences, which led to the deeply seated unbalanced obsession of hanging on to stuff.
Decluttering sure is interesting and has led to me to delve into the subject of becoming a minimalist.
Minimalisation.
I love this one, as I am learning that to minimalise which is like a higher turn of a spiral, a more evolved, less mental way of looking at our possessions. It is feeling based, less thinking involved, it is gentler, with one being able to do it slowly, gently, learning and appreciating ourselves and life itself. We can embark on an interesting journey where we develop a graceful relationship with the universe and discover our needs are less than what we thought they were.
What we really and truly need in life is unique to us and ever changing, as we discover how free-er we become with less accumulated stuff around us. People wrongly may have the understanding that a Minimalist is a person who has hardly any possessions. That may be so, but those who think that is what it boils down to misunderstand.
They can be frugal with an empty looking house, storage areas, etc, but consider this, it is not about forcing change, instead it is learning to live with less over time, which ultimately unburdens us.
Essentially developing this way of living is having a growing appreciation of what life has to offer and to value it, unburdening ourselves of much that gobbles up our time and money.
We can then feel enthusiastic about our future, to find time to do what is important in our lives and develop greater appreciation of who we are and our direction.
How Decluttering and Minimalisation Links With Laughter Club and Laughing
Part of the benefits of laughing together are psychological and social. When we come together in group harmony as we do, we feel many beneficial things. A sense of belonging, being loved, accepted for who we are, without judgment. Over time our sense of humour hones itself in ways that we do not ourselves notice. Simply put, many wonderful things change in our lives which naturally induces greater self-appreciation, as well as compassion for ourselves and humanity. As our belonging grows, we feel sucked into place and hold hope in our hearts. The hope is unique for each individual person.
Gradually, people who come regularly somehow feel a greater hope and connection with mother nature, with spontaneity. Gathering afterwards for a social chat and cuppa helps as we have an opportunity to share with others who feel like family. I firmly believe and have observed people feeling better about themselves, simply by coming and being part of the group and what it offers.
that over time these improvements add to the way we view life and, in this way, we ever so gracefully, with courage and conviction, let go of stuff we have gathered around us to feel better or to cover up feelings of inadequacy.
A Golden Rule to Live By.
William Morris’s famous quote is “If you want a golden rule that will fit everybody, this is it: Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.” I have also heard and live by an additional item, ‘Is it necessary?.” Many necessary everyday items these days and neither useful nor beautiful, possessing them brings ease into our lives. Necessary examples could be having a roof over our head, a car to drive, a television set.
Get in Touch?
Lynette is available to talk with you about this or other blog subjects, if you feel to reach out to her sometime. Also, she runs self-help classes, if you want to find out about that, you certainly can.
Cheerio for now and all of us at laughter club are looking forwarding to seeing you sometime!
Lots of Love and Laughter,
Lynette Mitchell.